Finally some good news

I saw my stoma nurse today. She told me that the rectal bleeding is nothing to wordy about because, and get this, for the main pouch operation the surgeons remove the lining of the rectum where the inflammation is anyway. So it wouldn't matter unless it got really really bad! So, potentially, happy days again!

School plan:

Going into school this morning to have a meeting to discuss what the hell im gonna do for the rest of this year. I think just philosophy and english and take those exams this may, then do my other subjets next year and yeah. Two years of upper sixth yaaaaay..

A small wish of mine

I wish i could go away somewhere. Anywhere new. Just to sort my head out and relax for a bit. Thats all. Bit of an easier request than a new colon..

Sorry I haven't posted in a couple of days

Its been a bit hectic. After going to hospital again i just kind of shut down. Its all getting a bit much now im coming to terms with the fact that im probably going to have the bag for life. I dont want to, but i know thats what is going to happen.

There are many positives to it i know, but so many sad emotional negatives.

1. my kids seeing their daddy with a bag on his stomach and trying to understand why
2. not being able to go swimming or go to the beach without wearing some special thing to cover it
3. not being able to wear tight shirts or just normal fitting t-shirts 
4. never ever having a shit again. like ever.
5. going to a new place like uni and being known as 'the guy with a bag' because no-one would have known me be anything else
6. knowing colitis won.

Bad night

Could do with a friend.

Update from my trip to hospital this morning

I basically have proctitis again, just like i did in 2012. The suppositories im on aren't working so i have been given stronger foam enemas. I used them pre-op and they didn't work but they may work now who knows.

The good news is that i haven't been admitted into hospital. The bad news is my rectum my isn't playing ball.

Back to hospital we go.

Called someone at St. Helier to discuss my bleeding. Told me to come into A&E to then probably get admitted and seen by the surgical/gastro team to figure out whats up.

Back we go.

New found independence-i do my bag alone!

I have said goodbye to my father with all of my bag stuff now. I shower and change it all by myself, and thought i'd show you exactly how!

Prepare bag and template, cut template, get bag ready by sink, put removal spray and plastic waste bag by shower, dry myself, stick washer on bag, stick bag on me. Voila!

I want to take up boxing

So i've had so much aggression built up in me over the last few months that i want to take up boxing. Probably not competitively as getting punched in the belly may be catastrophic for me...but just a class at a gym.

New Year's Resolutions

Even though i have little hopes for 2014, i think its still important to go into it with optimism and my head held high. With this in mind, here are my new year's resolutions:

• have a more positive outlook towards my hospital adventures 
• keep a more open mind about the chances of living with the bag for life
• dont't depend on my parents and zara so much

Bring on 2014.